Numbergate – Jerry Jones telling the young gun what number to wear

I’ll never forget the day my 8U baseball coach looked at me and said, “The one thing I need you to think about today, and this is very important, is what number you are going to wear for us this season.”

At eight years old this decision is more important than the kid (I think she was of the female gender) I just asked to be my girlfriend at recess, four hours ago. Was she blonde with brown eyes? Or did she have brown hair with blue eyes? If I even remember her name at this phase of the relationship I am doing well. In reflection, I may not know who I was dating when I was eight years old, but I know what number I was and why I chose that number.

There is a complex calculation that comes into picking one’s number for any sport. My favorite baseball player at the time was Scott Podsednik. He was from a small Texas farming town where my mom grew up, and they happen to make amazing kolaches (yes, the Czech Stop). He wore double two.

My cousin, the goalie for his high school hockey team, was tied for my favorite athlete at the time. He wore double three. I just wanted a piece of them to be a piece of me. I took one of their numbers and came up with two-three or three-two. Oh, did I mention I have always been the loud mouth? Yea, if you talk like I do, you wear two-three, no questions asked.

There is nothing fun about graduating from college and getting a job other than getting paid. When you get paid there are certain guidelines and regulations that your new employer has set forth for the company as a whole, and for you individually. This is not college ball anymore; this is a business.

Pat McAfee, on his daily sports show, frequently discusses how these rookies do not comprehend the business side of ball until they are up for a contract negotiation. Cowboy fans are not new to this as the recent dilemma with our QB1 received the franchise tag, compared to getting paid (like the world knows he should).

You sign your first-round draft pick, but tell him what number he has to wear. If this was a random assignment that added no value to the team or had no historical context, would I see a cause for media outcry? Absolutely.

Instead, we see the polar opposite from retiring a number in respect of a Hall of Fame career. We are telling the young buck to wear the number that the greats before him wore, and that played the same position he plays. If you forced Derek Rose to wear number two-three when he arrived in Chicago, they have at least two more banners hanging in that arena, no doubt.

My dad has told me stories about the triple threat in Dallas featuring Aikman, Smith, and Irvin. I sat on the couch, while dad sat in the recliner watching Romo, a slew of running backs, and Bryant take the field. It was fun. It was memorable. I can only dream about telling my kids about the dominance, Prescott, Elliot, and Lamb shared on the gridiron (I know Cooper will be around for some time but for story intensive purposes we are utilizing Lamb because he’s taking Irvin’s number). I hope the peak for this youthful trio is higher than the hall of fame trio dad used to tell me about.

CeeDee, my buddies that went to school in Norman couldn’t stop talking about you in your last two years of college ball. I can’t wait for you to be on my NFL team, and allow me to rave to the Cowboy haters out there what a baller you are. It sucks Jerry Jones told you what jersey number to wear. I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad move though, it’s a business move. The only moves Mr. Jones knows how to make. I think he will make you into a similar player my dad grew up watching wearing the double eight. I think you got big shoes to fill, but know your feet are only growing. Stoked to watch you play this year, ROY.

Master(s) the Feel Shot

I’m sorry boss-man, I cannot stop thinking about golf. It’s Master’s week what do you expect? I should be at my standing (*your standing desk company logo here*) desk watching the first round of the masters. Kidding, that was just in high school. And college.

Last time we were on the blog it was for a good chuckle, as I told the Spieth haters to pound sand. Hot start.

This time, I am going to help you shave a few strokes off the golf game. I need some competition and extra income after this whole COVID-19 shin-dig is over.

But before we save your golf game, you need to complete your check list. First, watch last year’s masters highlights. Second, contemplate who is going to complete the career grand slam next.

We see these guys play every weekend and we try to replicate their shots and their style of play the next day on the links. With no prevail, we lose half a dozen golf balls and pride that frankly we can’t afford to lose. Oh, you were not able to hit the eight iron one sixty today? Yea dude, because you are not good enough to hit that club perfectly. Every. Single. Time. You need to feel your way to the hole.

No one would try to major in physics in college to understand the science behind the golf swing (low key love this guy. Pony up). This is the epitome of a technical golfer. If you needed me to explain what a technical golfer was you are my perfect client. Too stupid to be a technical golfer.

A golfer whom you need to emulate a swing after, is not Bryson but, John Daly.

The first time I watched John play in person was at Colonial in ’12. He took a long drag off a cig in the middle of the fairway on hole ten. Most golfers are eating their protein bar with Gatorade after the turn. Nope, not the American hero I was watching. That is the American weekend golfer right there. Utilizing tobacco products to fuel the golf swing. That is why we love him; we wish we could be him. You can’t be John Daly, but maybe you can learn to play a little like him. John is what the golf world calls a “Feel golfer”.

Imagine yourself about one fifty out. No hazard between you and the green. You need to be thinking, “If I can roll up a five iron and miss it short, I’m on the front of the green with thirty feet for bird.” Not a bad miss. Minimizing the severity of your errors is tip number one in dropping strokes. You are going to screw up. Get over it. If your screw up only costs you one stroke instead of two or three strokes, it’s not a bad life. Being a feel player is how you drop a few strokes from your game.

No one likes the over technical guy that needs to know the club head speed, trajectory, and ball spin. We had a name for that guy in my adolescent years. A try hard. The golf course is the place you can be yourself. You my friend might have an engineering degree but you also have a twenty handicap. Trust me. Drop the data, pick-up a cig and be a feel player like John.

This week you are probably going to spend your time dreaming on how you should be playing golf in early April and specifically somewhere in Georgia. Hey, I have another tip for you. It’s not going to happen. Stop dreaming. Put some money away in the retirement account because dude, you suck at golf. If you are sitting next to dreamer boy and are just trying to knock off a few strokes off your golf game yea, switch to a feel player mentality. No, it will not help your awful putting, but should help you drop a few strokes. Think your way through the course and feel your way to the hole. Thank me later.

Quarantine and (Sports) Chill

You really got around to reading this sports blog? You should probably spend this time researching how you could get $1,200 from the federal government. You care too much about sports if this is where you are allocating your finite time. Read into getting that $1,200 from Uncle Sam, and then come back here as we are finding the sports fix during the global pandemic. Did I just get you $1,200 from Uncle Sam? You’re welcome. (To be honest if you need help getting this payment comment and I’ll reach out it’s not difficult).

If grad school is anything like under grad, I am going to spend time procrastinating from my real responsibilities by reading about sports. Yes, I am that odd ball that would watch Moneyball with Brad Pitt for the third time compared to watching episode 168 of The Office.

              You are stuck in your seven hundred square foot apartment to eat, sleep, work, and use the restroom. You need time to relax as well as do all those things. What is your butter zone? For most of us, as long as we can remember, we enjoyed watching sports. Waking up before school not to watch Zoboomafoo (rest in peace buddy), but to catch the top ten plays from the day before. There is something great about a sports fairy tale told from the television screen. Wipe those tears off your face, I got you buddy. Here are my top three sports movies that can be streamed from the comfort of your couch.

3) 7 Days in Utopia (Prime & Netflix)

              Not every fairy tale is based on a true story. This one is no exception, it’s a helluva movie. Too bad it never happened. First, the main actor, Lucas Black, has a great name. We found out earlier this month that our favorite golf tournament, during the most beautiful time of year, with our favorite golfers, has been postponed. Yes, I have watched the USGA’s YouTube specials, Tiger Woods: Perfection at Pebble and our hometown guy Spieth’s Northwest Conquest. Two of the most dominant performers at the masters in recent history (if you even think about disrespecting Spieth, pound sand you 25 handicap). Those short documentaries heal the wound from the postponed Masters tournament, no doubt. What about my golf fix? Almost every course is shut down because the government decided to run the working man’s business for them. I want to get back out there and swing the sticks. I want to get back out there and mentally battle against the course, and win. I hear you guy. There is nothing that will heal the wound. I got the grad school fix, jungle juice. A recipe that includes a corny storyline, a touch of romance, and before you can say Everclear you realize you are watching one of the most underrated golf movies in recent years. It’s no Tin Cup, or Happy Gilmore. Even if you don’t know what a four iron is, you have seen both those movies. Seven Days in Utopia is one of the more underrated golf films to date. You’re Welcome.

2) SpaceJam (Netflix)

              If grad school is a reflection of undergrad, we will all have that one friend that will wear his MJ Space Jam jersey to every house party there is. Saturday night fire at the house? Wearing the jersey with the long sleeve underneath. Out at the bars after a conference football game dub? He’s still wearing the jersey. Unfortunately for those of us that think this guy is a clown, we also have this unspoken rule that wearing the Space Jam jersey at any time is ok. Do we like the guy? Hell no. Do we like the jersey, and the movie that it originated from? Yessir. There is something about when that movie was released (1996) and how that related to our childhood. If you are at the age of year one or year two of grad school, this was the butter zone between dreaming to be a pro athlete and watching Looney Toons. Even if the movie was released before some of us were born, the movie still deemed itself relevant when we knew who MJ was and who the og Bugs Bunny was. Good work to Disney and the producers in the creation of this movie because I will never get sick and tired of the film. In a time where the NBA literally shut down the season mid-game, which gave fans another great courtside reaction from Mark Cuban, we all need a little basketball in our lives again. Yesterday morning Karl-Anthony Towns posted a video on Twitter addressing his parents and their war with COVID-19. I would argue that the sport that took the biggest hit from a financial and relevance standpoint is basketball. Bugs Bunny, make a dunk highlight film for me. Hey LeBron, if you treat Space Jam 2 the same way you treated Taco Tuesday, take something that we all love before you came around and just cheek your way into the picture, you will have no fans by the time you retire. You have been warned.

1) Miracle on Ice (Disney+ & Netflix)

              Unfortunately, we are in a war. This war is not as apparent as traditional war. In this war, no one is the enemy due to the fact the enemy has no face. The enemy only has two things in common with us humans. It exists, and it has a name. Kind of like the communists in the 80’s. I will not use this platform to allow myself to deliver a piss poor explanation of the history of communism during the 1980s. I just won’t do it and honestly, I am too lazy to study it. If I were in the United States during the ‘80s, I doubt I would have a full grasp on the world and all the conflicts that arose right in front of me. I would know two things. That communism exists, and the USSR was the face of communism. With everything that is going on in the world, it is evident we must unite and do what is right for the collective whole in comparison what feels right for us individually. As a state, country, and world we must know that we were made for this moment. There is no greater test of one’s character when stuff hits the fan. When the world is rotating on the axis per usual and all is going according to plan, it is easy to confuse a wise man from a faux man. The boys are separated from the men when the guns are going off and the bombs are bursting in air. This is a crappy situation we ALL are in. Luckily, You Were Made for This. If you need a kick in the butt even after this rah-rah paragraph, watch Miracle on Ice. “The name on the front is a helluva lot more important than the name on the back. Get that through your head. Again.”